Bathing Suits & Body Image

Shopping Flashback

This weekend my husband and I are are going to Desert Hot Springs Spa for his birthday. Two days of steaming mineral pools, sun, and relaxation.  Since losing over 40 pounds I decided I better get a new swim suit.  I headed to Lane Byrants, my plus size go-to shop.  I wandered around the store and found my way to the bathing suits.  I stood before them and scanned the row of  brightly colored latex.  Most were bejeweled, embellished with gold and some had rows of flouncy ruffles.  However, the thing that stood out the most was the enormous built in bra cups.  There was no way I was fitting into any of these suits! (Or at least in some areas.)

Suddenly I had a flashback.  I was 13 years old and shopping for bathing suits with my Mom.  I was too big for the little girls suits and too small for the women’s.  I tried on so many suits, I was disappointed and frustrated and my Mom was getting tired of shopping  and convinced me to buy a brown and orange suit that had a built-in bra.  The cups were huge and hard plastic. She said “Don’t worry you’ll grow into it.”  Who was she kidding, I’d need plastic surgery to fit in the thing.  That was the worst summer of my life.  I spent most of it trying to hide my chest, which was not possible since these hard plastic cups were sticking out no matter what I did. On occasion I would bump into something and one or the other would cave in and I would have to reach in and pop it out again.  Most of the time I wore a t-shirt over my suit, again in an effort to hide them, but you know what happens when a t-shirt gets wet.  It was humiliating to a 13 year old girl.  It was bad enough that I was being molested and totally ashamed of my body, now I was faced with getting cat calls, teasing and unwanted attention because of these two giant plastic boobs sticking out from my flat chest. What was my Mother thinking?  The memory still makes me cringe. 

Now, 45 years later I am standing in front of a display of swimsuits with giant, underwired, plastic formed bra cups and I still can’t fill them up. (Not all large woman have large breasts!)  So many thoughts are running through my mind.  Just the sight of these suits disturbs me and connects me to some deep pain that I am sure I have stuffed away for the sake of survival. Then I think, “It’s just a frigging bathing suit for God’s sake!” This makes me laugh under my breath.  How can a bathing suit hold so much energy.  I realize it is not the swimsuit so much as the feeling that it evoked.  The self-consciousness,  feeling like a freak and not fitting in, uncomfortable in my own skin. I hated by body, I wanted nothing to do with it.  Being 13, that awkward time between childhood and womanhood, feeling betrayed by my body.  So complicated.

How I wish I could go back and talk with her.  I’d tell her she was smart, beautiful and creative. I’d take her shopping to as many stores as it took until we found the perfect suit, the one she felt comfortable in. I’d buy her a cute cover-up, hat, and new sandals to match. Then I’d take her to lunch and ask her about her life and her dreams, and I would listen to her!  I would make sure she knew she was valued and mattered.  

It’s about so much more than a bathing suit, but that bathing suit represented so much.  It tells a story.  A story that really isn’t about me anymore.  It’s a memory, not a truth.  The truth is, today I will head to another store.  I will take myself shopping until I find  the “right” suit.  One that feels comfortable and one I feel good wearing.  Yep, I can do that! I am smart, beautiful, creative and at last I value myself!

Big Love,

Corn Chips, Salsa and Pain

Food Intolerance

It’s been over 90 days that I have been strictly following the Autoimmune Protocol.  I have had a nearly complete reversal of all my symptoms and have been pain free and feeling wonderful.  It’s amazing. But, it’s time that I start adding some foods back into my diet. 

On Saturday my husband suggested we go to La Casata, out favorite Mexican restaurant. I agreed and decided it was time for me to experiment with tomatoes.  When the chips arrived I couldn’t resist.  They tasted sooooo good, especially with a scoop of their fresh salsa. Before long I had finished the small bowl of salsa and made a dent on the basket of chips. I hadn't had corn or tomatoes in three months! I enjoyed it thoroughly.  

For the rest of the evening I paid attention to how I was feeling to see if I was going to have a reaction, and thankfully I didn't feel any different and I was happy.   Then, about midnight I woke with pain in my stomach, a burning sensation. I tossed and turned and finally went to sleep again.  Early in the morning I was awakened again, this time because of the pain in legs. It was a dull ache. Suddenly I was remembering the pain I used to feel all the time. I could hardly believe it.  Was is possible that eating chips and salsa could cause such pain, and so quickly? It was a real reality check.  It was proof.  It was a confirmation that food really does effect my body.  Obviously, I am very sensitive to corn and/or tomatoes.  Both very average foods that I would never even considered  a problem in my past.  That’s why the elimination diet helps. 

The pain I woke up to on Sunday morning was a huge suprize.  It was hard for me to believe that food could really cause that kind of pain in my body so quickly, but I have to accept it.  Pain is inflammation and inflammation is what I am trying to heal.  Eating foods that increase it is counter productive, obviously.  Now it is totally up to me whether I choose to continue eating  these foods or eliminate them again.  You know the answer.  Why would I choose pain??  I am so grateful for this experience, and the severe reaction.  It is a lesson I couldn’t have learned another way.  My body spoke to me and I listened. Now, that’s big!

This experience has made me more determined and focused.  I can clearly see that food is the key to healing my autoimmune disease and improving my quality of life.  Over the months ahead I hope to more fully understand what foods I can eat and what foods cause me pain.  It’s a learning process.  I want living a healthy, vibrant, pain free life to be my normal state! 

Big love,

Lessons in Being Heard

Communication Break Down

Today I had a frustrating interaction with my husband.  There was an important letter I needed mailed and I didn’t have stamps.  I asked him to go Winco Grocery, buy stamps, put one on the envelop and put it in the mail box behind Applebee’s (in the same parking lot.) We were just there last night mailing a birthday card. He was looking at me and seemed to be listening to me the entire time we talked.   He left and was gone quite a while.  When he got home he handed me the stamps and said “They don’t sell stamps at Target.”  I looked at him weird and said “I know, I told you to buy them at Winco.”  He looked at me weird, and said “I bought them at Stater Bros Market and then dropped the letter off at the UPS Store.” Now I looked at him weird.  “What?” I said. That wasn’t at all what I asked him to do.  I was suddenly pissed off.  He says "What does it matter, its done.”  I had to agree, but I was still pissed. It made me start thinking, as I have before, why does this stuff upset me so much!

I know the answer.  It has so much to do with everything about Becoming Zia and what I am learning about my 5th chakra issues.  It is about being heard.  I never feel like he’s listening to me,  I am not being heard.  That is the bigger issue.  He is a daily reminder of what I am trying to remedy, and he also provides me with a daily opportunity to learn new ways to practice being heard.  We definitely have a communication break down.  They say that men and women speak different languages, well at our house that is definitely the case.  

When I am faced with these situations, and react so strongly, (especially when it happens so frequently) I have to look within and find the trigger.  I know that for decades I acted in codependent and people pleasing ways and never spoke my truth or even recognized my own needs.  As I have begun to peel back the layers of my life over the past few years I realize that beneath all that people pleasing and codependency was one unhappy, angry woman who just wanted to be heard.  When my husband doesn’t listen to me the fury of all theses years flies forward.  It’s like opening Pandora’s Box, once the lid has been pried open it can’t be closed. I  know that is not fair to him, but it is the reality of the situation.  They say we pick our partners to work out our issues. Maybe it keeps happening so I can learn to find a comfortable place with speaking my truth.  It’s complicated.  

The one thing I do know, I am changing and seeing things differently and more clearly than I ever have before.  Change is hard.  It’s unsettling for everyone involved. What I realized today is that being heard, having someone pay attention to what I am saying is something I value and require in my relationships. It is vital to good communication.  It is a two way street.  It is about respecting the other persons needs and having them do the same towards you.  Its about being honest and open with each other, and really listening.  

The anger that gets evoked in me is a messenger, it tells me that something has been triggered that I need to look at.  The good news is that I am willing to look at it and not just react (although I am pretty good at that!)  Have I figured it all out. . . . heck no!  But I am willing to explore and discover whatever it takes to heal.   This is all part of what created two major medical problems in my throat  and is also part of the process of healing myself on a wholly level.  I'm all in, there is no going back for me.

Big love,

Autoimmune Protocol Day 90

41 Pounds Gone and Feeling Great!

Day 1                                            Day 90

Amazing how 90 days has gone by so quickly.  At the beginning I never thought I would see this day, but here it is.  Somehow I managed to keep doing it day after day. Forty-one pounds lighter and feeling completely different than I did three months ago.

What has changed?  The biggest difference is how I feel internally.  I have a feeling of self-acceptance that I haven’t had in a long time.  I have begun to feel comfortable in my own skin, which has been a lifelong pursuit.  Even though I still have lots more weight to lose I have lost the self-judgement and begun to accept myself “as is”.  Now, that is a huge shift. 

My body is healing as well.  There are no longer the aches and pains that I felt daily. I can move my body with more ease and even tie my shoes without cutting off my air supply. My rosacea is clearing up and my skin is much more healthy.  I even feel the difference in my hair, stronger and thicker.  No more constipation.  I could write a whole blog post about digestion!  The difference in my digestion from Day 1 until today is like night and day. No more stomach burning indigestion, gastrointestinal distress, gas or bloating.  That alone is worth giving up all the foods I’ve given up.  Plus the addition of kombacha has made all the difference!

Speaking of giving up foods . . . I am still pretty strict AIP, but I have added in a few things.  I added back my favorite cappuccino - but only occasionally.  Decaf, of course. I enjoy the ritual of the coffee shop and the taste of an occasional cup.  It is a quality of life thing - honestly. I also tired rice, tomatoes, and some Chinese food.  I did okay with the tomatoes, but the rice and Chinese not so much. I could feel the minor bloating and I got a headache from the Chinese.  Most likely soy related.  I am continuing to eat tomatoes and may try other nightshades to see what happens.  But staying true to the AIP as outlined by Sarah Ballantyne in her book The Paleo Approach is best for me right now.  

There are two things I want to do more of: exercise and cooking.  Now that my body feels so much better I feel like moving it.  I have increased my walking time and I am contemplating adding yoga back into my life.  I love it and miss it and now that 41 pound are gone it may be easier to do the poses.  I’m going to look for a class. Secondly, I want to explore more Paleo recipes and increase my cooking repertoire.  It is important to have variety and make yummy food, since I plan on doing this for the long haul.  I’ve decided to invest in some new cookbooks. Here are a few of the cookbooks I have on my must buy list:

Real Food Recipes  The Spunky Coconut Kelly Broyzna  - Coming this month! (She also has a free ebook of Paleo Pasta that is fantastic!)

Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfillppo

The Autoimmune Paleo Cookbook: An Allergen-Free Approach to Managing Chronic Illness by Mickey Trescott

Against All Grain: Delectable Paleo Recipes to Eat Well & Feel Great by Danielle Walker

I Quit Sugar Cookbook by Sarah Wilson

The Paleo Approach Cookbook by Sarah Ballantyne, Ph.D

(Coming out in August, you can pre-order.  I can’t wait for this one!)

There are also many websites, blogs and Pinterest Boards that are filled with wonderful recipes and inspiration.  Here are a few I frequent.

Pinterest

Autoimmune Paleo

AIP Breakfasts

Paleo Slow Cooker

AIP Gluten Free

Paleo Mom Recipes

Yummy Desserts - Spunky Coconut

Websites/Blogs

The Paleo Mom

I Quit Sugar

The Spunky Coconut

Balanced Bites

AIP Lifestyle

The Phoenix Helix

My AIP Journey and the Amino Acid Protocol in conjunction has been a blessing in my life.  If you are suffering from any inflammation related issues I highly recommend this approach.  If you have any questions or would like to talk to me privately about this issue, I would love to answer any questions you may have.  Just send me note - click here.

There are a lot of links in this post.  I wanted to provide you with as many resources as I can.  Look at the ones that appeal to you and ignore the rest!

Big love and vibrant health!

Overcompensating from Childhood

Clothes, Art Supplies and The Needy Inner Child

Writing about the clothes from the 70’s reminded me of a conversation I had with my brother last week.  He asked me if I remembered if he had a closet in his childhood bedroom.  I thought about it for a few minutes, tried to picture his room, but I couldn’t remember. It was strange.  Our house was very small.  Our parents had homesteaded the property in the early 50's and our Dad built the house himself. He built it from a drawing he and a friend drew on white paper, neither had construction experience or were architects, by any means. There weren’t a lot of extras, like big closets, or spacious rooms.  

Thinking about that led us to a conversation about how few clothes we had, and how little room we had to store them. We weren’t feeling sorry for ourselves, we were just looking at the facts.  Suddenly, he looked at me and said “I wonder if that is why I have so many clothes now?” We both laughed, he was right.  In his new three bedroom house in Bosie, all the closets are full of clothes - shirts, pants, shorts, suits, jackets, shoes. He even has two dressers full.  When I was helping him move I remember thinking it was crazy how many clothes he had. And he keeps buying more!

Classic overcompensation.  Totally unconscious until now. It was his way of making up for the sense of lack he felt as a kid.  I get it.  I found a way to get the clothes I wanted, I learned how to sew. Clothing wasn’t my area of lack.  I'd done the same thing in my life, but I did it with art supplies.

Yes, I was a needy little creative spirit as a kid.  I used my creativity to survive my harsh and dysfunction life.  Art saved me.  But I had to make do with what ever I could find.  I sketched on cheap lined steno-pads that I bought two for 25 cents.  I used the Sunday comics for colorful paper to make things, I used yarn and fabric scraps. I longed for colored pencils, blank sketch pads, paints, brushes, glitter, glue, etc.  No one in my family saw that I was craving these things - no art supplies at Christmas or birthdays, no art classes. It was a different time, and my parents were focused on surviving day-to-day and supplying us with the basics.

However, as an adult I started feeding my need.  My stash of art supplies grew and grew and grew.  I didn't hold back.  If I saw a new art form I wanted to try, I jumped in.  First step, buying all the supplies I needed. As long as I can remember I have had a designated “art space” and it has been filled to over flowing. Just imagine 40 years of unrestrained creative pursuits! It wasn’t until I had my Becoming Zia experience at the Painting From Your Wild Heart Retreat at the Ghost Ranch that I was finally able to see the truth.  My drive and obsession with art and art supplies was me

Just one room of my 1100 sq ft basement in Ohio!

overcompensating for the lack in my childhood.  Completely unconscious. It was me giving my art starved inner child every thing she desired.  Every whim.  The awareness was a bit shocking.  I sat with it for weeks. I questioned it, all the while the need for my old way of creating was fading.  It was a truth that I could not ignore.  As a matter of fact, I am still facing it and trying to find my creative equilibrium.

That conversation with my bother was enlightening.  I think that once you see the truth about something, you can never look at it the same way again.  I know he’ll be thinking about it the next time he sees a new shirt he likes.  Just like I’ve been doing with my art.  It forces you to get real, and ask yourself what you really want.  Time to stop overcompensating and learn what your grown-up, adult self needs.  A conscious pursuit.  

What I’ve learned - no matter how many art supplies I surround myself with, or how many pairs of shoes my brother has in his closet, that will not be enough to fill the lack we experienced as kids.  That healing comes from learning to love and accept ourselves as we are today and forgive the people who didn’t know better and were just doing the best they knew how. It’s as simple and as complicated as that.

Are you overcompensating in some area of your life?  Is there some childhood lack that you'er trying to fill?

70's Flashback!

Today I got a message from a friend that has known me since we were 5 years old.  She commented on the post I wrote yesterday about the Lagenlook style of clothing.  She wrote:

"I can vision you in this style. Some are not so different as to what we wore in high school, maybe these are just a bit more flowing then what we wore in 1973. Think back on the clothes you made back then......layered. We wore all those cute smocks and tops with short sleeves or tops with long sleeves. All layered but not as flowwy .  I loved our style back then didn't you? You made so many outfits and tops and pants."

I realized she was right.  I have been drawn to that type of clothes my entire life.  I just didn’t know how to “own” it in a way that felt authentic.

Her message got me thinking. It’s true I used to sew all my clothes.  If I wanted a new outfit I would go buy fabric and whip it up in no time.  It was just what I did.  I learned to sew when I was 8 years old.  Since the becoming Zia experience I have thought about sewing.  As I said yesterday, when I was at the Ghost Ranch last summer I started sketching some clothes designs.  But there is a part of me that doesn't want anything to do with sewing.  I realized, when I think back on all that sewing I’ve done most of my life it reminded me of lack instead of being creative.  When I was a teenager I made my clothes because my family couldn’t afford a lot of extras.  If I wanted new things I had to make them.  Then, throughout my life I continued the behavior.  It was part of the “poverty mentality” that guided most of my life.  Over the past few years I have worked hard turning that around. Sewing and “making” things instead of buying new things was one of behaviors I’ve worked hard at changing.

It wasn’t until my friend sent that message did I suddenly see things differently.  Not that I am going to break out the sewing machine and start  making all my clothes.  But, I can think of it in a new way.  I can own the fact that I can use my creativity in that way and not have to think of it as “making do” or doing it because I can’t afford it otherwise.  Things are different now.  I am not the same person, nor am I living under those same circumstances.  Most importantly, now I feel more confident in who I am and at long last have begun to feel comfortable in my own skin.  It might just be time for me to finally connect the outside with the inside.

It also occurred to me that I don’t have to make the clothes myself.  If I want to design some things I can work with a seamstress.  There are lots of people who love to sew, I could hire someone to help me.  There are many possibilities.  It’s all part of the transformation.  Things just aren’t the same as they used to be.  Becoming Zia is an interesting and exciting adventure.

Thanks Donna for the reminder and helping me see things in a new light.  That’s always a good thing!

Big Love,

People (& Clothes) Watching

McCaren International Airport

Here I am, waiting for my flight home.  I made it the first leg, but now the second flight has been delayed.  I have two hours to kill so I thought I would write a post.  It is interesting watching people at the airport.  For me it is the best people watching location anywhere.  So many people, so many stories, it’s fascinating.

While I was waiting for my first flight.  I spotted a woman wearing the new style I am curious about.  It’s called “Lagenlook”, which means layered in German.  It’s a style that’s been around for a while and I have skirted around it for years, not really knowing it had a name.  During this trip I came face-to-face with it in a way I couldn’t ignore.  I started looking into it and even started a Lagenlook Pinterest board.  So, when I saw the woman at the airport, I paid close attention.  Once I boarded I couldn’t get her look out of my mind so I pulled out by iPad mini and opened one of my favorite drawing apps Brushes and started sketching.  Her outfit is similar to the first one, lime green with white shirt and black pants.  That got me started and I just kept drawing.  I am definitely no fashion designer, but I had fun drawing these.

Interestingly enough, these are very similar to ones I started sketching when I was at the Ghost Ranch this past summer.  I had no idea about Lagenlook then, but that was exactly what I was drawing.  I am being called to this look. Don’t know where it will led, guess it’s time for a new style.  I feel my creative juices starting to flow. Might have to get out my sewing machine.

In the spirit of the flow . . .

There's Something You Can do

Asking for Your Help

Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you!  ~ Jim Rohn

Last week at the Pacific Northwest Writers Association meeting the speaker, a professional writer, told us that a few times a year you have to ask your readers for help. This sounded strange at first, but then she explained why.  If people are reading your blog they must be there for a reason.  They are supporters.  And, as supporters they want to know how to support you.  Simple as that. So you have to tell them how.

After getting clear on my mission I realized I need to explain some things.  Transparency, honesty, and truth are a big deal for me so that is what brings me to write this post. My blog is a means for me to express myself, first and foremost.  But, it is also a writer’s platform.  This is something I have been learning more and more about over the past few months.  In order for a writer to be taken seriously they have to create a “platform.” A place for people to find them and build an audience. Publishers look for writers presence on the web.  That is the way it is today.  It means having a blog, website, mailing list, social media presence, etc. The goal is to attract more and more readers and build an audience.  That means you! In order to do this I have to create something that people are interested in.  That’s my job.  Luckily, I love writing. (I have all these ideas and words running around in my head that must be set free!) Hopefully, my writing creates interest and value for you, the reader. That’s what I want to do. It is two-fold process.  

Another angle is creating income.  For years I have heard about people "monitizing" their blogs and I just didn’t get it.  Blogging and making money just didn’t compute for me.  But then I found Pat Flynn at Smart Passive Income and the lightbulb “ah ha” moment occurred.  Listening to his podcasts opened my mind to the whole idea and added another dimension to building a platform. I’ve learned about affiliate marketing, building traffic, SEO, and so much more, and I am still learning everyday. I joined Adsense and became an Amazon Associate and started putting affiliate links on the pages. I didn’t want to have my blog filled with junk and spammy stuff, and that is not happening.  I learned that I can choose what I want and create links where readers have choice.  How it works?  When I am writing a blog post I can put a link to a book or some other item at Amazon.  If you click the link and then buy it, I get a small percentage.  It’s very simple.  There are also other affiliate programs, for example ZenniOptical. Most of you know I have several pairs of new glasses.  I bought them at ZenniOptical online, cute styles and really inexpensive!  So I decided to join their affiliate program.  I have a link to them on my side bar, if you click there and buy a pair of glasses I get a percentage.  This works with many, many products. The good news is that I will only promote or link to things that I personally use or endorse. And the even better news - you have complete control - there is nothing devious or subversive going on.  If you want to follow a link it is completely up to you.  If you are going to buy something on Amazon and use my link than I get a percentage.  It’s as simple as that.

This business side of my bog is simple.  I am building a writers platform to grow an audience for my book Becoming Zia and future books I plan to write. I want to sell my book(s) and I also want to create passive income through by blog. It is an online business.  I like to call it the “laptop lifestyle”.  Being a writer and actually making money

So now's the part where I ask for your help.  Here are some things you can do to help me build my platform and create my laptop lifestyle!

COMMENT

Comment on blog posts.  All you have to do is click the words "comments" at the bottom of the post. I love to hear from you. Give me your feedback or your view on the subject.  Anything you want to say!  Comments also help my blog get better rankings.  The more activity the higher the rankings. The higher the ranking the more possibility of visitors.  The more visitors the bigger the change of growing my audience. 

FORWARD POSTS

At the bottom of the blog post is also a list of different social media icons.  To share my post just click on the one you use (like Facebook or Twitter) and it will post it for you.

If you are an email subscriber to my blog, forward a post you particularly like to some of your friends.  It’s simple to do, just click forward on the email and pick the email addresses and send!  

USE AFFILIATE LINKS

If you are going to buy something on Amazon why not use my link! Just click the image above or at the right. Most everyone uses Amazon for purchases.  The affiliate link can be used to purchase any product, not just the ones I linked to.   

JOIN EMAIL LIST

This one is simple. Just click this link.  You’ll get updates about the progress of my book and other info occasionally. My goal is to eventually have a bi-monthly “newsette" (that’s a small newsletter.) I am not a spammer and your email is safe with me.

OR if you would like to read the first two chapters of Becoming Zia for FREE, click here and you will also be signed up to my email list and get to start reading the book too!

FACEBOOK

If you read my posts on Facebook, here's how you can help:

“Like” posts. Just click the LIKE button.

“Comment” on posts. Write whatever is on your mind.  It only takes a moment.

“Share” posts.  Just click “share” and that's it! Great way to widen the circle.

Buy Becoming Zia

This one is easy.  As soon s the book is published, you will be one of the first to know.  You will be able to buy it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and iBooks.  It’ll be a simple download. 

- - - - - 

That's it for now.  I appreciate your support!  I am learning more every day and if something changes I will certainly let you know.  If you have any questions about any of this information, please don't hesitate to ask me any questions.  You can ask in the comments or you can email me directly through my contact page if you want to do it privately. 

In the spirt of living big,

Clarity • Vision • Blog Mission Statement

Writers Retreat UPDATE . . . 

A few days into my writers retreat I had a change of direction.  I put my Pendulum Wisdom ebook on hold and decided to focus on getting more clear about what I was actually doing.  I

started blogging in January 2014 to share about my life changing experience of Becoming Zia and the book I am writing about the experience. This began to evolve and include my Autoimmune Disease and process of my healing. The blog was beginning to take on a life of it’s own. Since I have a bit of a problem with attention and getting easily distracted, I thought I better get focused and find some clarity.  So I set off on a journey to develop a mission statement for my blog and website. (It was a recommendation from my new everything internet guru Pat Flynn.)

For days now I have been writing, asking myself questions and looking for clarity in the answers.  I have used my new pendulum to check the answers for authenticity and truth.  It has been an interesting process. In the spirit of transparency and speaking my truth, I want to share some of my clarity with you.  So if you have been asking yourself, “What in the heck is she trying to accomplish with this blog?” Then, here’s your answer!

Mission Statement:

Becoming Zia is a blog and writers’ platform for Zia Poe. It's a place when I can speak my truth and share stories that inspire and encourage women to live their most authentic, vibrant and wholly healthy lives (mind • body • spirit).  The platform is a means of sharing ideas, thoughts and information, as well as providing a place for conversation and feedback. It serves to build an audience for the Becoming Zia book and future projects.  It is  also a method of providing income through affiliate and other types of marketing and sales of passive income products. 

Questions: I asked myself lots of questions, but I compiled them into this list of seven and pulled out words that seemed to bring understanding and clarity for each question.  

Why am I blogging?   love to write • spill thoughts • inspire • share information • be heard • connection • writers platform • passive income  

Who is my audience?  women • all ages • 40+ • seeking fulfilling lives • authenticity • open minded seekers • looking for inspiration • healing • connection • deeper meaning in life 

How will I attract readers?  provide value • topics of interest • quality posts & products • social media • email list • back linking • SEO • webinars • networking • clarity of mission  

What do I want to provide?  share LOVE • oneness • inspiration • new ideas • thought provoking posts • information/learning • self awareness • pleasure • smile or a huh? I never thought of that? • evoke feelings 

What do I want to accomplish? write - do what I love • open minds and hearts • be heard • speak truth • share ideas and knowledge • build writers platform • sell books • make passive income • create laptop lifestyle 

What aesthetics do I want to achieve?  clean • creative • interesting • easy to navigate • peaceful • splashes of color • modern, but not stark • peacock • alive • vibrant yet subdued  

What do I want to portray?  honest • open • wise, yet always a student of life • seeker • teacher • positive • affirming • willingness to talk about difficult stuff • excited about life • evolving • truth speaker • confident • competent 

Well, that’s it. It sums up my thoughts and feelings about what I am creating. If you made it this far, thank you for reading it all and indulging me  I appreciate it greatly. It is my hope that doing this clarity work will help me become more focused and provide better value for you the reader.  Plus it will keep me from being distracted by shiny new ideas that take me off course! Focus, focus, focus!

I would love any comments.  Feel free to speak your truth! It's what matters most.

Big LOVE,  

Seattle #1 Must See

Chihuly Gardens and Glass

If you ever find yourself near Seattle there is one place you have to visit - The Chihuly Gardens and Glass at the base of the Space Needle. It is spectacular. It opened in 2012 and showcases the work of famed Northwestern glass artist Dale Chihuly.  It has to be seen to be totally experienced.  This was my second visit and I have to say being there in the spring with the all the flowers blooming was glorious!  I've been a fan of Chihuly for years and have seen his exhibits in Columbus, Cleveland, Nashville and even a installation at Kenyon College.  But, this place is different - it is Chihuly indulgence! A glass, color and beauty binge!

Inside the exhibit is filled with vibrant colored glass and unique displays of a variety of his works. There is also a small movie theater that shows shorts of his life and projects that is really worth stopping to view.

There is the amazing Glasshouse filled with the one of the largest displays of suspended sculptures in the world.  The Glasshouse is 40' tall and built with an amazing view of the Space Needle looking upward through the glass. It is breathtaking!

Then, there are the gardens.  Simply beautiful.  The juxtaposition of the glass and the superbly artful landscaping are amazing.  Each glass display is nestled in an array of plants and flowers that integrates it as if it is part of the natural environment.  It has an other worldly essence.  

What an experience.  The gardens transform with the changing light, the cloud cover and the time of day.  It  is especially amazing at sunset and dusk.  A bargain at the $21 ticket price!  We parked at Pikes Place Market and then rode the Monorail to the Space Needle.  It's about a 1 /1/2 mile trip and is fun to ride and see the city from another view.  Plus you get to see two great Seattle iconic areas with ease.  I spent the day with my bother.  We explored Pikes Place Market, then Seattle Center, lunch at the Space Needle (which was so much fun) then the Chuhily Gardens.  It was a great day! 

Beauty abounds!

Big LOVE,