70's Flashback!

Today I got a message from a friend that has known me since we were 5 years old.  She commented on the post I wrote yesterday about the Lagenlook style of clothing.  She wrote:

"I can vision you in this style. Some are not so different as to what we wore in high school, maybe these are just a bit more flowing then what we wore in 1973. Think back on the clothes you made back then......layered. We wore all those cute smocks and tops with short sleeves or tops with long sleeves. All layered but not as flowwy .  I loved our style back then didn't you? You made so many outfits and tops and pants."

I realized she was right.  I have been drawn to that type of clothes my entire life.  I just didn’t know how to “own” it in a way that felt authentic.

Her message got me thinking. It’s true I used to sew all my clothes.  If I wanted a new outfit I would go buy fabric and whip it up in no time.  It was just what I did.  I learned to sew when I was 8 years old.  Since the becoming Zia experience I have thought about sewing.  As I said yesterday, when I was at the Ghost Ranch last summer I started sketching some clothes designs.  But there is a part of me that doesn't want anything to do with sewing.  I realized, when I think back on all that sewing I’ve done most of my life it reminded me of lack instead of being creative.  When I was a teenager I made my clothes because my family couldn’t afford a lot of extras.  If I wanted new things I had to make them.  Then, throughout my life I continued the behavior.  It was part of the “poverty mentality” that guided most of my life.  Over the past few years I have worked hard turning that around. Sewing and “making” things instead of buying new things was one of behaviors I’ve worked hard at changing.

It wasn’t until my friend sent that message did I suddenly see things differently.  Not that I am going to break out the sewing machine and start  making all my clothes.  But, I can think of it in a new way.  I can own the fact that I can use my creativity in that way and not have to think of it as “making do” or doing it because I can’t afford it otherwise.  Things are different now.  I am not the same person, nor am I living under those same circumstances.  Most importantly, now I feel more confident in who I am and at long last have begun to feel comfortable in my own skin.  It might just be time for me to finally connect the outside with the inside.

It also occurred to me that I don’t have to make the clothes myself.  If I want to design some things I can work with a seamstress.  There are lots of people who love to sew, I could hire someone to help me.  There are many possibilities.  It’s all part of the transformation.  Things just aren’t the same as they used to be.  Becoming Zia is an interesting and exciting adventure.

Thanks Donna for the reminder and helping me see things in a new light.  That’s always a good thing!

Big Love,