Self-Confidence Matters

Time for me to get legit!

Something I discovered about myself during the unfolding into Zia was how my lack of confidence was effecting most every area of my life.  That discovery has made me aware of the blocks I have set up to insure that I could never really succeed.  Self-sabotage has been an integral part of any plan I conceived for most of my life. That was never intentional, but it was always the eventual outcome.

The good news, things have been changing.  Becoming Zia and the transformation I experienced was the catalyst to get things moving.  Discovering and beginning to heal my autoimmune disease, living healthy and balancing my brain chemistry created a synergy that has set something big into motion.  Lately I have begun to realize, with the help of some friends, that I have to take responsibility for my gifts and use them.  Playing small, or down playing my skills has been part of the self-sabotage game I've always played.  That is over.  

"All confidence is acquired and developed." ~David Joseph Schwartz

A few weeks ago I dropped off my entry into the Pacific Northwest Writers Association Literary Contest.  The women in the office was the president of the association.  We talked for a long while and she gave me lots of helpful advice.  It was great.  Afterwards, in the parking lot, I sat there thinking about the experience.  She treated me like I was a real writer, like I was legit.  It was one of those moments - an old paradigm broke down and a new one opened up.  I realized that I had to start taking myself seriously.

At that moment I got it.  I am a writer, I am legit.  Just like all the other people entering the contest, I am a writer.  That is a fact.  And since figuring that out, all sorts of changes are taking place.  What I have now, that had always eluded me, is an honest and true belief in myself.  Not what other people think, whether they like me or approve of me.  It's about me approving of myself and believing in my skills.  The rest of it doesn't really matter.   I guess that's why I can write about something so personal on my blog.  Sharing, being vulnerable, and exposing myself is something that is healing for me, and gives me strength.

Feeling LEGIT comes from an unfamiliar place inside me, but it's one I am happy to accept and nurture.  It's never too late to step up for yourself and embrace self-confidence.   

Thank goodness!