Where to go from here. . . I’ve been contemplating that over the past few days as I have been writing this series. Purging my history and telling the story of my addiction had been
healing and cleansing. Recognizing that I am not at fault is a gift that I can hardly describe in words. Getting my head around that aspect may be the hardest. I have lived with the shame, regret and self-condemnation for so long it feels like who I am. Although the bigger part of me, the spiritual core always knew different, I’ve continued to struggle. Now I recognize that it has been part of my journey to wholeness, another lesson to teach me about surrender, compassion and forgiveness.
When I think about moving forward with my healing, I know I have to approach it differently than before. Here are the key issues I want to address:
Autoimmune Disease - Hashimoto’s thyroid issues
Brain Chemistry Balancing - Identifying the specific imbalances that need treatment
Body Wisdom - Continuing to listen to my body and connect with it on a deeper level
Live my new “Yoga of Being” Philosophy - being present and detached from outcomes & ego
Simplifying - Living more simply and defining what that means to me today, at this stage of my life
Speaking My Truth - Continue to live authentically and address the issues that came up with my parathyroid tumor in New Mexico
I’m a planner. Yes, I am. So this process is helping me a lot. But, I also see that my desire for simplicity is a priority as well as my choice of living my newly named “yoga of being” lifestyle. Those two components are making it a compelling challenge. How to develop a Phase II healing plan without making it rigid and complicated. There has to be a way to ease into it. I trust the way will be shown.
Meanwhile, I thought I would review the list of symptoms I complied when I started this program in January and see where I am now. I found the list and counted - there were 30 symptoms. I was shocked, but yet remembered each one of them clearly. I checked off the ones I no longer struggled with and I was left with just five. Hashimoto’s - Autoimmune disease, extra weight (I've lost over 40 lbs but still need to lose another 60!), rosacea (although it was much better), heart palpitations (thyroid meds aren’t right yet), itchy skin and still a few self sabotaging behaviors. Compared to the previous list of 30 that included some major issues, I was feeling pretty good with my list of five! Two that I was so happy to see resolved were sleep and digestion. Getting quality sleep had been a challenge for me for years, and now I am sleeping soundly, deeply and feeling refreshed in the morning.
That is a huge change! Sleep is something that effects every area of your life and plays a role in healing the body on a cellular level. Digestion has been a problem for me since I was a kid. With the help of healthy AIP eating and my new favorite drink, kombucha, I no longer suffer any digestive issues. No more bloating, acid indigestion, gastrointestinal distress or constipation. I can’t stress enough how much better I feel being “regular." It is a thing of beauty!
Looks like I am ready to “lean into” the next phase of my healing. I want to thank you all for sticking with me through this Addiction Series. It was difficult to be so vulnerable and expose some of my stories around addiction, yet I just kept writing. It is a story I want to tell because I know there are many other people just like me. Maybe by telling my story I might help someone else and that would make it all worth while.
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